- I've trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine.
It's a Bordeaux collie. - The first thing on my bucket list is to fill the bucket with wine.
- What did the grape say when it was crushed?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine. - It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There's clearly room for more wine.
- I enjoy a glass of wine each night for it's health benefits.
The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and my flawless dance moves. - The secret of enjoying a good bottle of wine:
1-Open the bottle to allow it to breathe.
2-If it doesn't look like it's breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth. - I drank so much wine last night that when I walked across the dance floor to get another glass, I won the dance competition.
- Every box of raisins is a tragic tale of grapes that could have been wine.